02 November 2008

Six more weeks...

This week we hit our two year mark. October 29th. I can't believe it's really been two years since we arrived in Thailand. As I expected, the time has flown by. Since the day we got here, I knew 2 years could never seem like enough. There's just so much to see and do, so many things to experience and learn. So many places to visit. No way could one family do it all in two short years when we also need to carry on a real life!

So, our time is coming to an end. We have six short weeks left, and until last week, I was feeling pretty sick about it. I imagined myself being happy to be home for a while (of course, why wouldn't I love to see my family and enjoy the holidays???), then after settling in, feeling like I'm ready for another change. I always have felt bad for the families who leave here; very few want to, and many are worried about the culture shock of going back to their home countries. It doesn't matter if it's Japan, Canada, the U.K. or the U.S.A., there's a culture shock there. I've worried about that a little with Jane, as she's spent twice as much time in Thailand than she ever did in the U.S. If you've never lived away from home (wherever that may be), maybe this makes no sense. I've always dreamed of living abroad. I've always dreamed of living in a big city. I've always dreamed of traveling the world, especially with someone I love. It's unbelievable to think that it's all happening. I'd hardly dare ask for more, but admittedly, I've wanted to stay in Thailand rather than return to our other life so soon. Until last week, that is. Maybe it's the feeling of the oncoming holidays. Maybe it was having Fay here for a week, loving my children like only family can. Maybe it was Jack on Halloween night amazed that kids were riding their bikes in the street, right by their houses! (Imagine that!) Or, maybe it's me feeling ready to have my own transportation that I can actually STRAP my kids into! Whatever it is, I finally feel ready to come home.

I feel ready to have a house. I feel ready to have a yard for my kids to play in. I feel ready to mow the lawn. I feel ready to only go to ONE store and be able to buy all the groceries I need. I feel ready to have Sunday dinners with family. I feel ready for my kids to spend regular time with their grandparents, to play with their cousins, and to remember how awesome their aunts and uncles are. I'm ready to live in a place where it's normal to have your three year old home with you. I haven't really felt homesick since we've been here. A little here and there after a phone call with parents, but not like I feel now. I am actually looking forward to coming home. I'm happy about it! And, thankfully, so is Jeff. Saying goodbye to Auntie Fay did it for Jack.


Just watching him have to say goodbye to Fay broke my heart. He looked at me after she walked off with those big eyes and just teared up. He was homesick for family and he didn't even know how to express it. We shed a few tears together, then talked about the things we still have to look forward to before we fly out. We realized we're finally ready!

I'm SO thankful for my homesickness. I never thought it would come. I thought I'd be leaving a big chunk of my heart here with unfinished business. Now I realize, although a part of my heart will always be here, I'm ready to take the rest to my family I'm missing so much. So, although I'll enjoy this last six weeks in Bangkok, (and they will be filled weeks!) I know I'll feel much more ready to step on that plane than I thought. It will be hard, but how could it not be after all the growing up I've experienced here?

Living in Thailand has definitely been an adventure. I think the next chapter of our lives (part of which will include trying to remember how to be a Utah housewife) just might be our biggest adventure yet! Especially come May (drum roll please...) when we welcome the next baby Hillman into our home! As much as we would have loved to experience the medical care in Thailand, we are THRILLED that we will be near family when our little one is born! Even though our child will be born in Utah, we keep being reminded, as the news is getting out, our baby was "Made in Thailand", and not to forget it. Now, to think of a Thai name for this little one... any suggestions?

So, SIX more weeks of delicious, cheap pineapple and mangoes. SIX more weeks of cheap transportation and not having to use parking lots. SIX more weeks of sweating when you walk out the door. SIX more weeks with our Bangkok family. SIX more weeks of the language, smiles from strangers, all the delicious food, and living a life we'll likely never live again. It's been a wonderful two years, but the time has come, and I'm happy to finally feel ready.

19 comments:

The Lee's said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I am so happy for you and your family.How are you feeling? Enjoy your last 6 weeks in Bangkok. I am sure it will go by too fast. Hopefully we'll be in Idaho in a couple of months and we'll have to make a trip to Utah to visit you guys. We sure miss you.

Joanna said...

I'm happy to hear that you're ready!!! We've been ready for a LONG time to have you back, and we would have taken you back even if you weren't ready, but I'm SO glad you're excited about it! We can't wait to see you on Christmas Day!

Reading this made me cry!!! The good kind!

Andrew & Vanessa and kids said...

You have brought tears to my eyes. Your perspective is just right on! Enjoy those last few weeks and then come home with 100% excitement to start your "new/old life" in Utah! We love you and are thrilled to be able to see you!
By the way, we were at the Visitor's Center last night, and I was telling some Asian sisters that my sister lives in Thailand, and a Thai sister walked by at that exact moment. I used my beautiful Thai and said "Sawatdee ka!" She was so impressed!

Becky said...

Oh wow, Mindy, Congrats! How exciting!

So jealous of the cheap pineapple... *drool* Enjoy your last six weeks!

:o)

KaraLyn said...

We will miss reading about your wonderful adventures in Thailand, but knowing you guys, you will still have many great adventures in Utah, especially with a new little one running around - congratulations! Richard and I are so happy for you. :)

Jennifer said...

Oh Mindy. Has it really been two years? I'd love to be in Utah to greet you. Perhaps I'll get to see you this summer. Congrats on your little package that's Made in Thailand. We in the states don't want to miss that arrival. Enjoy your last 6 weeks.

Bevany said...

I didn't know you've lived there for two years. I'm sure it will be hard to say goodbye. Enjoy your last six weeks. Congratulations on another baby!! That's so exciting!

Nate said...

Congratulations on your growing family! Enjoy your time there in Bangkok. We'll look forward to seeing you back here in Utah!

Bart said...

I think you should extend. I've been enjoying your Thailand blog too much for it to end. You've presented so well in words and photos your experiences and the exciting things Thailand has offered! It has been inspiring.

Then again, it's always nice to come home, and I'm sure you'll make the most of your time and opportunities in Utah, too. And then you'll jump at future opportunities to travel like this again! And all will rejoice.

Bart said...

P.S. And all will rejoice.

This excerpt from my comment, above, is you rejoicing at being able to travel again, not other people rejoicing when you leave Utah. Just thought I'd make that clear. :)

Mimi and Papa in Provo said...

Well, one thing I will definitely miss with you in Utah is the wonderful way you have grown as a writer. Your blog has actually been a lifeline I don't know if I could have done without. Waiting for letters and cards or relying on getting through the phone system would have been heart-hugging constantly. Thank you so much for this beautiful monologue that has helped me to also enjoy Thailand and its many interesting parts and people. This morning I told Doug that it has been nearly 12 months since we visited you there and we loved every minute of it. Our arms are ready to hold you close and shed some tears together instead of around the world. Yes, your adjustments will be as big of a growth experience as Thailand has been so I'm really happy that you are "ready" to return for your next big adventure, this time in Utah. We know that you will race through these next weeks just soaking up all the culture in Bangkok. It will be great and exhausting so I'm glad you have your trip home broken up a bit so you can adjust. With the Croshaws moving home, it will be the first time we have ALL lived in Utah at the same time for many many years. We will chain you all to your Utah home for awhile, so don't even think about your next foreign foray for awhile, K? I have enjoyed writing to Abbie, Grant, Christian, and Faith by email the last few months. Would you consider giving Jack a gmail account that i could send him some things? He could share them with Janie. We love you tons. Mom

Kellie Openshaw said...

Thanks for this post, I know how you feel. I am not sure I will ever know how to be a Utah mom...will you teach me when I return to the states in a couple years?

Congrats on number 3, yeah!

Enjoy your 6 weeks, and you can always come visit us in China!!!

devid said...

I'm very happy and sad for only 6 weeds in BKK, I think I have to miss your family too much, Hopely in Thailand is your home too , we love you, I'll go sent you went you back USA. LOve you Hillmam Family

napa-dipu said...

I'm Napa, I'm very so sad about only 6 weeks you stay in Thailand, but happy for your family too I don't know what I felling when I go church without JANE AND YOUR FAMILY ( How can I do? ): ( time ii's quicky I'll look forword to seeing Jane growing up every year ok? 23 September her Birthday ! Love your family :)
Napa

Team Hanni said...

Mindy-

Made in Thailand - That is FABULOUS!!! Your blog has been a highlight each Sunday to read. I never even thought about traveling to Thailand, but you have described it each week so beautifully I want to experience it too. I would love some sticky rice, cheap pineapple, and a fish pedicure.

Enjoy the last moments there... How on earth do you move all of you belongings from Thailand?

Bettie said...

It is such a wonderful feeling when you are finally ready to come home.
I am so happy for you and your new little one. I still remember when you were first pregnant with Jack.
As far as the name goes, I think you should make a list of your favorite Thai names and let us vote on it :)

Adri said...

I know many a soul who are so, so glad it is only 6 more weeks for you. My mom already gave me (another) guilt trip about how EVERYONE else is moving home to Utah and we're not. Moms are good at that.

Congrats on the new babe. We are thrilled for you!

Craig and Suzanne in Thailand said...

Mindy, as much as I would have liked for you and your family to stay so we could get to know you better, I am happy that you feel good about going back to Utah. It is a good feeling being where you feel you should be. It also feels good going where you know you need to go. (That may have been difficult to follow . . .) You will bring good feelings with you wherever you go.

As far as a Thai name for your baby I have a perfect one for you! Jai, it can go with both a boy and a girl and it means "heart" in Thai. It is also a Sanskrit word but I don't remember what it means.

Although I have not been able to see you very much I will miss your happy face and your contagious optimism.

Best wishes for a good life in Utah and beyond.
Suzanne

Anonymous said...

jane love to give u your "treat" for Halloween u r going to love the taste